This is not a discussion about who want physical relations more often, or who needs what more. This is about learning to protect our marriage through prayer.
A few points from the book...
- For women, sex comes out of affection. We want to resolve issues and feel emotional intimacy before we want physical intimacy. "But actually there is a far greater chance of settling other issues if sex comes first."
- "There is probably no more important means of fulfillment for a man, and no area where his is more vulnerable."
- "Something is built up in a marriage when this need is met... something is diminished when it is not. You leave yourself open for temptation, and far more destruction than you can imagine when this area of intimate communication is neglected."
Let us pray
Here are some areas to think about as we pray about this "intimate communication" in our marriages...
- We can pray to be set free from experiences that happened before our marriage that have damaged. God wants to bring healing and restoration -- physically, emotionally, spiritually.
- If we don't have the desire, or energy, for physical intimacy, pray for God to show you his perspective on sex, and for wisdom to apply these truths. This is an important part of our ministry to our husbands. (I Cor 7:4-5)
- Pray for purity in your marriage and protection against lust or sexual immorality. (I Thess 4:3-5)
- Pray that your desire will only be for each other, never being tempted to look elsewhere for fulfillment.
A few other resources about this topic...
One step that will improve your S-E-X life -- This article reminds us of a much more scriptural view of sex, bringing us back from some of the lies we are taught by our society. If marriage is for life, than sex is a lifetime exploration that keeps getting better. Definitely worth reading.
What you are NOT responsible for -- This article provides a refreshing balance to the teaching that wives are solely responsible for their husband's sexual satisfaction. Shela looks at the issues when there is sin, or past injuries that need healing.
Next up, Chapter 5: His Affection. We will look at physical affections in our marriage, apart from the sexual intimacy. Open physical affection (or the lack of it) can have a profound effect on our marriage, our self-esteem and our view of God.